Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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