you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize