My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
