I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Screwed.edu
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
