new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
