I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
