just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
