Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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