C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
