He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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