OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
