I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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