Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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