Umm I'm too high to move.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
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The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
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The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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