I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
