Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
