so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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