Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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