yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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