I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
