You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize