Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
People with herpes should wear stickers.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
