Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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