Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
God, I missed his penis.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
