why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize