If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
