i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
this will be a night to untag.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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