but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
