You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
