6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
