Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
