butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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