Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
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He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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