Only a mothe r could love this liver
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize