I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
