Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
