Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
