VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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