I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
