I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
it glows. i had to have it.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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