Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
