I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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