i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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