I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
