is your mom at the bar?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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