i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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