Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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