so explain again why im purple
no
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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