Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
