i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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