"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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