I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
