Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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