Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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