We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
either way he was missing a nipple.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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