Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
