if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just googled if crying burns calories
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
