oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize